I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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