how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
