I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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