Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
