his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
