I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
