Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
