a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
