Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize