I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
