It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
