so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
