so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
