Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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