So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
