I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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