still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
