whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
