I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i dont even know how to be here
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
