can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I love you.
Bad choice
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
