oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize