we're blogging at a bar
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Randomize
