How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Life is so much better after having sex.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
