so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
