I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
