New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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