i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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