dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Apparently you make a good broom.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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