M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
