LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You ate ashes out of my bong
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize