Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
