Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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