Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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