Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
