They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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