So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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