smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize