Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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