k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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