Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
