youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My liver just had a heart attack.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
