1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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