I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
