So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
