He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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