In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
