Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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