I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
