I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
