She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
