After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
