so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
