You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
