He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
