Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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