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Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
