I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
