found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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