I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We got so high we made milksteak
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
