My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
