'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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