My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
