And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
