I'm lost and stupid without you.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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